Flaming bags of shit

A few weeks ago, I heard from someone I hadn’t thought of in years.  It was kind of funny in that “the huge guy in charge of the universe is watching me with creepy eyes” kind of way. A couple days before, I’d been randomly surfing The Facebook and found a comment she’d left in a place that neither of us should’ve been visiting–online or off–unless our intention was to throw flaming bags of shit, cackle maniacally, and then run rapidly in the other direction. Continue reading “Flaming bags of shit”

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The annual tax return pre-shop

I’ve been reading a lot lately. My year-old Kindle Paperwhite has gotten so much use that I’ve almost got myself talked into the necessity of purchasing an Oasis when the tax money arrives.  I keep thinking: wouldn’t it be nice not to have to turn the pages quite so often? Wouldn’t Mama love to have my current Kindle to replace the one she lost? Why, yes!  YES. And then I think, hells bells! I could read while I’m standing in the damn ocean! Continue reading “The annual tax return pre-shop”

I eat beans.

I’ve been doing a thing for a couple of months now. It feels like a secret, like something I should be ashamed of, like people will judge me once I say it out loud. To most, it will almost certainly sound woo-woo and strange, maybe even like I’m taking an extended ride on the pseudo-science train. But here’s the thing: Continue reading “I eat beans.”

RBF

Here’s the awful truth, y’all: I have resting bitch face like you’ve never seen.
I started noticing it about six or seven years ago. I’d catch a peripheral glimpse of it in a mirror or in the glass part of a classroom door as it shut and I’d be momentarily stunned at the face I saw looking back at me. It always took me a minute to react, to try Continue reading “RBF”

A Little Temporary Descent

I like to think that I’ve finally gotten too old to give a damn. Certainly, I mostly act as if that’s true. When Mom and I are out and about misbehaving and I happen to look up and catch someone staring, I usually smile at them and go right back to our conversation. Who gives a rat’s ass what they think about us?   Continue reading “A Little Temporary Descent”

Mania, Surgery, Recovery, Reboot

Some weeks ago, I got the idea that I’d run out of things to say, and I couldn’t manage to convince myself otherwise no matter how many times every morning I tried to make myself sit down in front of the computer and write. In truth, I was (and am) just in the middle of an extended period of time during which there were a lot of other things that I Continue reading “Mania, Surgery, Recovery, Reboot”

Coffee, Something in the Air, and no damned Sixlets anywhere

If you were here this morning, I’d tell you that despite my disgust at having no Sixlets this week, I’m nevertheless hella grateful to be drinking my second cup of coffee of the day. Yesterday we were without water for about six hours and today we’re still under a boil order, but–avid water drinker that I am–I had about four gallons pre-filtered, sitting in the Continue reading “Coffee, Something in the Air, and no damned Sixlets anywhere”

Lessons learned

When I was a teenager, I used to keep a list of the wise things my mother said. I called them her “rules for life,” and I had no doubt that one or the other of us would eventually use them as the starting point for a book. I meant to keep adding to them as the years went by, but I’m notoriously bad about writing myself notes and then forgetting where I’ve stashed them or–even worse–not writing them in the Continue reading “Lessons learned”

Why I wrote, and why I write.

211302643_3d7e3df154When I was ten, I got my first diary as a Christmas present. It had a lock, but it was no problem to open the journal without the key. Turns out this was good, because soon enough the key had vanished, probably stolen by my brother or swallowed by the dog. I kept writing in the little purple diary for months, regardless. Continue reading “Why I wrote, and why I write.”