I mean Jesus, I could die.

Lately, it feels a little like “one step forward and two steps back” around here. We stopped smoking a while back, and suddenly my Oreo addiction got way out of hand and we were having Casey’s pizza every weekend, the washing down of which required copious amounts of carbonated beverages. Then, I managed to get that mostly under control, and ended up with an infection that required Kill Your Gut Biome in One Fell Swoop antibiotics, and I’m still trying to recover from that while simultaneously beginning the McDougall program. Thankfully, starches are for the most part easy on the stomach.

Nevertheless, I feel like I’m flying sort of blind on the diet, despite having given myself an extensive education in plant-based eating over the past couple of years. Mostly, this is because I don’t seem to be losing weight, and trust me, I have plenty of weight to lose. I don’t think I’m a “volume eater,” because I typically don’t eat more than one plate’s worth of food at any given meal. I’m not eating any added fats, and I know this because 1) I know the composition of the food I cook, and 2) For a week, I logged every morsel I put into my face, right down to weighing it on my handy dandy kitchen scale. Every time I keep track of my intake, I’m at 1200 calories for the day, less than 10 percent of which is from fat. McDougall assumes most people will eat 2000 (at around 10 percent fat) and still lose a half a pound a day. The only way in which I’m not compliant with the diet is that most days I consume between 100-200 calories worth of nonfat candy. Yesterday, I ate more program-compliant bulk (which I’m sure was still below 2000 calories) and left off the candy (which fucking hurt), and this morning I gained weight. As far as I can ascertain, there could only be a couple of issues: 1) I’m pretty much sedentary, and 2) I’m not sleeping enough. Admittedly, I don’t really see the first as a problem. A few years ago, I lost 60 pounds in 6 months through calorie counting alone, so logically I have difficulty seeing that as the issue. I’m fairly certain that my main problem is sleep, but dude…THERE ARE TEENAGERS IN MY HOUSE AND THEY DON’T COME HOME UNTIL A COUPLE HOURS AFTER MY BEDTIME.

So, to make a long story a little shorter, today I’m going to try some new stuff. When my husband gets home from class this afternoon, I’m going to try to talk him into taking a walk with me. And tonight, I’m going to drag my ass to bed at a decent hour and just assume that the kids will be here shortly if they aren’t already. I’ll also try to make it through day two of No Added Sugar Hell while simultaneously eating closer to 2000 calories and to the left of the red line.  We’ll see what happens on the scale tomorrow morning.

And I hope to hell it’s good, because I really don’t want to resort to intermittent fasting. I mean, Jesus, I could die.